


Dangerous Business

by silverneko9lives0



Series: Sanzeuh Kumathelh [9]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Peter Pan Fusion, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Worried Parents, mischief and mayhem, runaways - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 20:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11539506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverneko9lives0/pseuds/silverneko9lives0
Summary: REPOSTEDPeter Pan AU.Thorin and Bilbo might be harsh, but it’s for Frodo’s safety. After all, Erebor isn’t entirely safe, but for a young Faunt like Frodo, safety isn’t really something he cares for.





	1. Chapter 1

“FRODO BAGGINS!!!” Thorin bellowed when he saw where his youngest nephew was balanced on. “GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP ME…”

Frodo scurried back over and looked at the king with big dewy eyes. “I was just playing, Uncle Thorin.”

“Playing? You call that playing?! That was more like trying to get yourself killed!” Frodo looked down, hands clasped behind is back and dragged one big foot in circles.

“I was just having fun.”

Thorin growled. “Dwalin, escort Frodo to his room.”

“Aye, your majesty. C’mon, lad.” Dwalin laid his paw of a hand on Frodo’s shoulder ad led him back to his room. “Buck up, Frodo,” he said. “You’re uncle’s only like that because he worries. Thorin’s not a mean one. And neither is Bilbo.”

“They don’t let me have any fun.”

“Well if you’re idea of fun didn’t include reckless endangerment of your life, they might let you have a little more fun. Thorin was like that with Fili and Kili too.”

“Yeah right. He loves them more than me.”

Dwalin stared at him, stunned. “Now you know that’s not true. Fili and Kili are all grown up now. And one day you’ll be all grown up too. No harm in that. There were times Thorin was hard them just as he is on you and look at them now. They are fine Dwarves, married and happy and Kili’s got another baby on the way, like Fami.”

Fami was Kili’s and Nori’s first born, making him crown prince after Fili. Fami used to be fun, but lately he was busier with duty and studies and Frodo felt like he’d lost his favorite playmate despite everyone’s insistence otherwise.

“You’ll have another playmate soon enough.”

“Not really. The baby will take decades to be old enough to play…I don’t want to grow up.”

“What child doesn’t? T’is a wise hope, considering many can’t wait to be adults and then realize they’d rather be bairns again.” Dwalin ruffled his hair. “Sadly, it’s inevitable. Besides, you still have my lads to play with. Or do you not like Orik and Dorik?”

“I like them,” Frodo assured him. “but they say I’m too little now.”

“Ah,” Dwalin said, deciding to have a word with his boys. “What about Sira?”

Sira—Balin and Dori’s only child and a daughter at that.

“She only wants to play with dolls. Never adventures or bandits or pirates…”

“T’is a safer game, I think. A calmer game might do you some good. All right, you know the drill. In.” He opened the door and Frodo entered his room. “It’s not forever. One day, you’ll be a fine adult and you’ll be thanking your uncles for their sternness.”

The door closed and Frodo sat on the bed. “I doubt it. I never want to grow up.”

#

Bilbo found Thorin covering his eyes with a mug of ale on the table. “Frodo again?” he asked.

“He was climbing the outer statues,” Thorin said. “Getting closer to the edge. I panicked.”

“And yelled at him, I’m sure,” Bilbo said, taking his hand away from his face and kissing the knuckles. “I’ll have a chat with him later about why he shouldn’t do anything so reckless.” Thorin hummed.

“I love you.” Bilbo smiled.

“And I love you,” he replied. “Now, have you eaten? I’m in a mood to cook.”

“I could eat,” Thorin said, pulling Bilbo closer. “I could eat a lot.” Bilbo laughed and kissed him, hands roaming Thorin’s torso—now thickened with proper eating habits and meals. “I could eat you.”

“Save it for the bedroom, love,” Bilbo said, kissing him and pulling away from Thorin’s embrace, heading for the kitchen.

#

Frodo peaked outside the bedroom and jumped at a squeak. He looked behind the door to see Sira. She had a bear doll in her arms and her ginger hair was pulled into an intricate braid down her back.

“You got in trouble again, didn’t you?”

“Hush. I’m running away.”

“I don’t think you should.”

“Just go away, Sira.”

“No.”

Frodo glared at her and clicked his tongue. “Fine. You can come, but you don’t tell anyone.”

“Fine by me.” With that, he gathered his sack and threw it over his shoulder. Once the door was shut, Frodo and Sira snuck around the guards, heading to the secret entrance on the side of the mountain. But they didn’t get far when Fami nearly ran into them.

“What are you two up to?”

“Um…”

“We’re running away.”

“Sira!”

“What? He asked.”

“But you don’t have to tell everyone we run into!”

“Yeah, that sort of defeats the point of running away, Sira,” Fami said. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot. “Where were you planning on going?”

“Don’t know.”

“Well, you can’t run away without a destination in mind.”

“Well, all I know is that I don’t want to stay here where I can’t do fun things like climb the statues or go into the mines. Besides, I don’t ever want to grow up. Dwalin even said it was smart not to.”

“I don’t think that’s what he meant…” Fami mumbled. He looked around. “But you know what, maybe the Elves can help. They have magic that makes them live forever and never grow old. I mean, they do grow up, but maybe they know how to prevent that. I’ll go with you.”

“What?!”

“Well, someone’s got to watch you and you have to watch Sira. Besides, I need to get out of here. My heads going to explode from all the studying I do. Meet me at the side entrance?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. We’ll meet up there in an hour. That gives Sira enough time to get some better clothes. You’re gonna be cold out there, kid.” He ruffled her hair. “Frodo, how about you get Orik and Dorik. We’ll all go together.”

“They won’t go with me.”

“Tell them I told them to. They have to listen to me, after all.”

“True. Okay. I’ll do that. We meet at the door in an hour.”

#

An hour passed far more quickly than Frodo expected it would and as the boys and Sira waited for Fami to return, a restlessness stirred in them.

What if they got caught?

What if they met bandits?

Or pirates?

Or orcs?

Or what if the elves refused to help them?

So many questions and possibilities and all of them filled with half-baked romantic notions of the world outside Erebor.

At last, Fami returned, carrying five packs. He handed the smallest and lightest to Sira.

“That’s rope and a compass. I’ve got the heaviest, which is the tent and bed rolls. You three are carrying the rations, so _don’t lose them._ ”

Frodo, Orik, and Dorik nodded solemnly and they pushed the door open together, grunting as they did so. Once opened enough for them to slip out, they ran out the door.

Frodo stared at the sky. It was darkening to black. Maybe he should have chosen a better time to run away.

Fami cleared his throat.

“We have to get down and put as much distance between us and Erebor as possible. Come on.”

Climbing down in the dark was far more dangerous than anything Frodo had ever done. It exhilarated him not knowing where his foot would land.

Sira, on the other hand, had not developed her stone-sense yet and whimpered more than once on the way down, sticking as close to Fami as she could.

The moon had reached its highest point in the sky by the time they got down and all of them were tired. Despite the younger four’s complaints, Fami pushed them to keep going.

“We aren’t safe from being found and brought back out yet,” he said. “So we got to keep going if we’re going to reach the Elves.”

With a unison of groans, the five continued on despite their fatigue.

“I want my daddies,” Sira whimpered.

“Then you should have stayed behind,” Dorik snapped at her. Orik shoved him.

“Cut her some slack. She’s the littlest and a girl.”

Dorik rolled his eyes and they continued on till sunrise.

#

The children huddled together around the campfire on the edge of the forest. Three days and so far not a soul had found them. Fami said that they should consider themselves lucky and continued to lead them further away from the mountain.

Frodo felt fine and quite alive in nature, but the others were complaining of sour feet and tired limbs. Only he and Fami did not whine continuously by night time. Sira had fallen asleep on her feet and Fami took to carrying her, handing her pack to Frodo.

By the end of the fourth day, they reached the edge of the forest and Fami agreed to let them rest for the remainder of the day while he cooked dinner. Frodo helped him cook while the twins and Sira set camp and collapsed, too tuckered out to enjoy their freedom.

“What do you think the Elves are like?”

“Don’t know,” Fami said, “but from the stories I’ve heard, they aren’t exactly kind. The Elves we’re meeting are warriors and slow to trust though quick to judge. Hopefully they’ll take kindly to us since we’re children.”

Frodo hummed. “Uncle Bilbo says they’re very tall and pretty in their own way. And Uncle Thorin says they’re backstabbing tree shaggers.”

“That’s what Adad says, too,” Fami hummed. “So I suppose we’ll see which is true.”

“Maybe.”

“Now what is this?”

Fami and Frodo looked at the newcomers. A group of men surrounded the camp. Sira ran over to them and hid in the crook of Fami’s arm.

“Settle down, lads, they’re just Dwarfling brats. Except this one,” The speaker pointed at Frodo.

“Maybe he’s an Elf child.”

“Never seen an Elf child before.”

“So it’s possible.”

“Maybe…”

“What do you want?” Fami demanded. “We’ve done nothing worth this interruption.”

“Calm down, lads,” the first man said, sitting down. “We’re not going to hurt you, but might I ask about that crest on your tunic?”

Fami glanced at his shirt and covered it.

“So I take it you’re the Prince?”

“What of it?”

“Which doesn’t make this one,” he motioned at Frodo, “and Elf, but rather a Hobbit. And these three…looks like we’ve found them, lads.”

The men cheered.


	2. Chapter 2

“Found us?”

“Well, what would you expect, little ones? That you’re families would not notice you missing?” He sent what he meant to be a warm smile toward Sira, but it came out oily instead. “They’re worried about you. Children shouldn’t be wandering out in the wild alone, especially without their families knowing.”

He held his hand out. “Come on, lads, and little lass. Ol’ Jonas here will take you home.”

The twins exchanged glances and Frodo bit his lip. Fami pushed Sira toward them and stood. “No,” he said. “We aren’t going anywhere with you.”

Jonas cleared his throat. “Lad, your highness, you don’t have a choice. The king’s got a grand ransom out for each of you and you really ought not be wandering out and about alone.”

“But we aren’t alone,” Fami said. “We’ve each other. Besides, even if there is a ransom, I don’t trust you. _We_ don’t trust you.”

The twins cheered and Sira whimpered against Frodo’s tunic.

Jonas sighed. “Tie them up, not too tight, though. Don’t want to hurt them.”

He grabbed Fami’s shoulder and Fami kicked his shin, pulling a knife out of it’s sheath around Jonas’ belt. Jonas jumped back, but not before Fami sliced the palm of his hand open.

“I said we aren’t going anywhere with you, Fish Breath,” he growled.

Jonas cleared his throat. “No need to get upset, lad. Now put it down. You don’t want to hurt anyone else. Least of all yourself.”

Fami lunged at him. Jonas roared and tried to grab Fami again, but Fami dodged his hand, stabbing him in the wrist. Jonas cried out and ordered his men to retreat.

“You’ll regret this, brat!” one of Jonas’ men snarled.

“We’ll see about that,” Fami jeered, sticking his tongue out.

Once the men were gone, they gathered around the campfire to eat.

“I think they were right,” Orik said. “I don’t think you should have fought him, Fami.”

“Well, it’s too late now. Can’t do anything about it.”

“I wholly agree,” a voice replied from the forest. “And you need not worry. Sleep for now. We’ll speak officially in the forest, little ones.”

“And how do we know we can trust you?” Dorik asked.

“Well, that’s a funny question. I suppose you can’t, but would you rather trust those men or me?”

“You don’t sound as nasty as they do,” Frodo said. “But if you end up being as bad as them, we’ll get you.”

The voice laughed. “That I do not doubt. I’ll see you in the morning, little ones.”

#

It is not wise to enter a forest without any guidance, but children are not known for being wise and Fami led them inside anyway, holding onto Sira’s hand as they traveled deeper into the thick, woods. The air was close and somewhat suffocating.

And the trees…

So many trees.

While the Dwarflings kept their feet on the ground, Frodo would try to climb the large, thick branches, attempting to get as high as he could before Fami called for him to get down and stay close.

It was in the tree where he met his first Elf.

He thought it might be male and he was hanging upside down.

“About time you got inside. We’ve been waiting for you since last night.”

Frodo stared at him, holding onto the branch. Then he moved downward. “Guys! I found an Elf!” The Elf followed him and landed on his feet in front of them. “See!”

“Yes, Frodo,” Dorik said, rolling his eyes.

“Good work, Frodo,” Fami said. He approached the Elf and bowed. “Fami, son of Nori, at your service.”

“Or son of Kili,” the Elf said. “That would work just as well, would it not?”

Fami stared at him. “You know my parents?”

“I know your great-uncle. We fought alongside each other some time ago. Now, that aside, what brings four Dwarflings and a Hobbitling to our great forest?”

“Well…”

“Do Elves have magic?” Sira asked.

“A bit,” the elf said.

“So you can stop the aging process? We don’t want to grow up!”

The Elf’s eyebrows shot to his head. He hummed. “Well, I can’t do that, but the king might,” he said, winking. “Let me take you to him and we’ll see what can be done.”

#

The Elf led them deep into the forest, not once giving up his identity to the children no matter how much they begged. He seemed to take delight in their frustration. At last, they arrived at the Elvenking’s halls and were led to the throne room.

The Elvenking arched a brow at them. “Legolas, you’ve done well.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“And you couldn’t just tell us?!” Fami demanded. Legolas shrugged.

“It was entertaining,” he said.

“You let those Men surround us.”

“I did not! Had it gotten hairy, I would have intervened. You handled it quite well, I believe.”

The Elvenking approached them, robes flowing behind him. “Enough teasing, Legolas. I’m sure the children are hungry and tired. Have the servants prepare a meal and rooms.”

Legolas bowed and left, leaving Fami and the others with the king.

“You are Thranduil?” Fami asked.

“I am.”

“We come with a request,” he said. “We wish for long life, never aging.”

“We don’t want to grow up.”

Thranduil stared at them, then he laughed. Loud and hearty, as though their request was a brilliantly told joke. “Oh, children, I wish such a thing could be done. Growing up is inevitable. Not even with all the power of the Elves could we stop the sands of time.”

Frodo felt his heart drop. Sira was close to tears. Orik and Dorik bowed their heads. Fami sighed. “So there really is nothing that can be done to make us children forever?”

“No,” Thranduil said. “But there is something I can tell you: cherish your childhood. Have fun, explore, dream, and when you are an adult, you’ll be better and wiser for it.”

“But we get in trouble whenever we do have fun,” Frodo said.

“There are ways to have fun without getting in trouble,” Thranduil reminded him. “And if you are getting in trouble, there is a good reason for it. I know that your uncles love you. That your fathers love you. Think of their love and think of why they are upset when you get in trouble. Perhaps, if you use this a little more,” he tapped Frodo’s forehead. “You’ll understand where they’re coming from. Sometimes getting in trouble is the better option. Sometimes it means you’re loved more than you think you are.”

He looked around. “Now I think I see five children in need of rest and good food. I will send word to your family that you are well and safe.” He clapped his hands and two Elven maids approached. “Enjoy your stay in my halls while it lasts. And you five are always welcome here. No matter how old you get.”

#

"Were you really teasing us?" SIra asked Legolas at breakfast. He knelt and traced a rune on her forehead. 

"I wouldn't have done anything too cruel, but yes, little one. May I?" he motioned to the chair and Sira raised her arms, allowing him to pick her up and place her on the chair between the twins. Frodo sat between Orik and Fami, pouting at the oatmeal and bread in front of him. 

"I don't wanna grow up. Grown ups are mean."

Fami glanced at him. "Well, you are doing things that are dangerous, Frodo. You could kill yourself doing some of the stuff you do."

"I'm more careful than that!"

"No, you really aren't."

"I don't like you anymore," Frodo snarled. 

"Whatever," Fami muttered. "You're a brat."

"Enough." They turned, stunned, to Legolas. "Yes, I can hear you, and I believe that we can find a way to come to an understanding of what is really going on with you're kin. After breakfast, Little Frodo, you will come with me. You will learn to see other people's perspectives and, maybe, you'll know better than to be so selfish."

"i'm not selfish."

"Perhaps not," Legolas said, "But I think I can offer you some...perspective: that means I can let you see a little bit into the mind of your uncles. Would you like that? It would be a little magic, though not the magic you think." Frodo sighed. 

"I guess so."

"Good. The rest of you are welcome to come as well if you like," he offered, taking a slice of bread and spread a jam over it. Frodo didn't know what he'd learn from such a thing, but if there was magic involved then what was the harm? Why not take a look?

After breakfast, the children followed Legolas into a clearing and he had them sit at the edge of a small spring. "Frodo, I want you to think about a time you thought your uncles, or one of them, was too harsh with you. As you see that moment, we will see that moment, and we will hear what he was thinking at the time. Okay?"

Frodo nodded and thought about the last time he'd seen Thorin. 

" _Frodo Baggins!"_  Thorin's voice echoed from the water.  _"Get your butt back over here now!"_   _Mahal, don't let him fall._  Frodo bit his lip  _"What are you doing?"_

_"I'm just having fun."_

_Blasted bairn is as bad as Kili was at this age. Miracle my heart's not given out._

_"Fun, is it?" You call scaring me to death fun? What do you think I'd do if you fell and broke your neck? I don't think I could bear it._

The pain in that echoed thought wrenched at Frodo. 

"He's hurt." Dorik mumbled. "I didn't think he could be hurt."

"Not all pain is physical," Legolas said. "I got in just as much trouble as a child myself."

Frodo wasn't sure if he wanted to see about the times he hurt Bilbo, but just as before it went to the last time he'd been in trouble with Bilbo:

_"Frodo! What are you doing! Get off the counter right now!"_

_"But-"_

_One wrong step and he'll burn himself. "Get. Down!" Carefully, carefully, carefully..._

_Why does he do this? Why is he so reckless? This isn't the Shire! There's too much danger in this mountain and he simply ignores it._

_If anything were to happen to him..._

It cut back to Thorin...

_If something happens..._

Frodo backed away, sniffling.

"Anger, I find, is sometimes a reaction of love," Legolas said. "I was around Fami's age when I found this place. It helped me understand my father's love a little better. He isn't good at showing it, and it looks like your uncles are the same. That doesn't mean that they don't love you. In fact, I think they love you more than you can comprehend, Frodo." He looked at the others. "And I believe you'll see the same thing, children, if you wish to look."

"No," the twins chorused. 

"No," Sira mumbled, hugging her bear.

Fami stared at it. "Can I see it alone?"

"If you like," Legolas said, standing. The twins and Sira stood as well. Frodo was still feeling a bit more stunned than he thought. How can adults be mean out of concern? Why were his uncles like that? He looked at Fami and stood, embracing him. 

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"So am I," Fami said, squeezing him. "Go on ahead. I have some things I want to see. Things I think I need to understand." Frodo nodded and pressed foreheads with his cousin. 

"See you at second breakfast?"

"If not, definitely at lunch."


	3. Chapter 3

Fami leaned forward, resting on his stomach as he stared at the waters.

An image of his parents appeared in the still spring.

_“You don’t think we’re being too hard on him?”_

_“No.” He’s too much like me at that age and there’s too much at risk to allow it._

_“He’s a good lad, Kili.”_

_“I know he’s good. I just wish he’d behave himself a little more.” I don’t want him getting hurt. It’s hard enough watching him be targeted as it is._

Fami sat up.

Targeted?

He was hunted?

By who?

For what?

Because he would be king after Uncle Fili?

Why wasn’t he told?

Didn’t his parents think he deserved to know?

He bit his lip and looked again.

_“Should we tell him?” Please say no. He’s too young. I don’t want him to be too afraid to live._

_“I think when he’s older he’ll be able to handle it,” Nori said. “But not for some time. Not yet.”_

“But I need to know this,” he whimpered at the image of his parents. “I should’ve known. I never would’ve run away if I knew.”

He sat up and hugged his legs.

“I never would’ve run away…”

#

“Exellent news,” Thranduil announced at lunch. “A guard will be on it’s way to escort you all home. I’m sure they’ll be at the forest’s borders by nightfall. Legolas, lead a group to guide the Dwarves to our home.”

Legolas bowed and left.

Frodo pushed his food away, stomach hurting.

He might be able to handle the lecture he was in for, but somehow, he felt he’d also get a spanking. From the looks on his friends’ faces, they feared the same.

Still, there wasn’t much to be done about that save accept their fates and brace themselves for a, perhaps, well deserved thrashing.

In the end, was it really worth it?

Their mission to gain eternal youth failed. And now they were going to be brought home to angry parents and guardians.

“You are always welcome in my halls,” Thranduil continued. “With a guide until you’ve reached your majority, that is. And my invitation will not end once you’ve come of age.”

“Can’t we stay a little longer?” Sira asked, hardly hiding the whine in her voice.

“I’m afraid not, little one,” Thranduil said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re parents must be worried about you.”

“But I’m scared.”

“I know, that fear is natural. But fear not. They will not be cross with you forever.”

He straightened.

“For now, rest knowing that you’re loved despite how it might feel for a few days after you go home.”

#

The first Dwarf Frodo saw was Dwalin.

Beside him, Orik and Dorik shook.

Frodo couldn’t blame them. Dwalin looked quite irate. Granted, he often looked irate. Perhaps he only looked angry, but he wasn’t as angry as he seemed.

Glancing at the twins, Frodo supposed they knew Dwalin better than most next to Ori.

Beside him was Nori, looking sterner than Frodo had ever seen him.

Fami exhaled, clearly tense.

The other Dwarves were ones Frodo didn’t recognize.

Fami walked ahead of them and approached his Adad. Once in line with Nori, he bowed his head.

Frodo wished he could hear what Fami said.

Nori dismounted and embraced him.

“Should we go to Adad?” Orik whispered to Dorik.

“I don’t know. I’m scared.”

Frodo nibbled his lip and wondered what he was going to do to at least make it easier on the others. He approached Nori and Dwalin next.

“I was the one who ran away originally. I wasn’t going to bring anyone,” he announced, voice cracking as he met Dwalin’s gaze. “But I didn’t stop them from coming with me, so please don’t be mad at the others. Please.”

Dwalin dismounted and ruffled Frodo’s hair.

“I am mad,” he said. “There is no helping that. But we will discuss it all together once we’re home.” He led his pony toward the twins. “Orik! Dorik! Get over here now! Sira, you too!”

Sira wailed, hiding behind Dorik as they approached Dwalin.

Frodo looked away, not wanting to watch the painful scene if he could help it.

#

They left the Greenwood the following morning.

The journey back was both slower and faster at the same time. Perhaps it was the dread that made it slower, while the trip itself was physically faster due to being on horseback.

“We’ll laugh about this one day,” Nori said. Fami wasn’t so sure. “You aren’t the first Durin with a penchant for running away. Ask your Amad when we get home.”

“I think Amad will sooner tan my hide before tell any stories.”

Nori snorted. “True, true,” he agreed.

“Adad, can you not laugh?”

“Why not? For once I’m not the one in trouble.”

Fami groaned, avoiding Nori’s gaze. At last, he looked up. “I know I’m a target, Da.”

Nori turned to him, frowning. “How?”

“There’s…there’s a spring in the forest. Legolas showed it to us. I know why you and Amad are so strict now. But why didn’t you tell me? I deserved to know.”

Nori remained silent, deep in thought.

“The first attack was when you were ten,” he said. “We discussed it then.”

“Dad, I’m nearly fifty now. I’m almost of age. When were you and Amad going to tell me?”

“I don’t know,” Nori said. “We didn’t want you to live in fear. We wanted you to have a good childhood while it could last. Then the attacks stopped one day before you turned twenty. You’re bearer and I had hoped it had stopped for good. We still hope that. Fami, you’re a good lad and a better Dwarf. I wish you had more sense in your head…”

“But?”

“Well…have I ever told you how I met your Amad?”

“No.”

“He’d run away from home and I ran into him while he was trying to hide. And before then, I’d had my own moments here and there running off in my youth for one reason or another. But we’ll save that tale for later. For now, I advise getting as much rest as you can. I might not have your hide, but Amad will.”

Fami winced, slouching. “That’s what I’m afraid of. He’s so strict.”

#

Frodo never thought he’d be afraid seeing the peak of Erebor so close. And yet…

His heart hammered in his chest.

He couldn’t eat much of his food that morning.

He couldn’t help but run scenario after scenario through his head. All of which were quite unpleasant.

By noon they reached the gates and each of them were led back home while Nori and Dwalin went to alert Thorin of their safe return.

Frodo sat on his bed, playing with a loose thread on his tunic and shaking.

He heard the door open and slam shut. Following the slam were footsteps. Then his bedroom door opened and Bilbo approached him.

This was it.

He was going to get a big spanking.

He was certain of it.

Frodo stood as Bilbo knelt. Maybe he was going to get yelled at first.

Then he was enveloped in Bilbo’s arms.

“Don’t you ever do that again, Frodo Baggins,” Bilbo said. “Don’t you _ever_ scare me like that again!”

“Um…am I going to…to get a spanking?”

“You certainly are,” Bilbo promised. “Not yet, though.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you are. Now,” he pushed Frodo back again, looking into his eyes. “Do you understand why you’re going to get spanked?”

Frodo nodded. “I ran away from home and scared you and Uncle Thorin.”

“And?”

“And…and…”

“You took Sira with you. And Orik and Dorik. And Fami. You endangered not only yourself, but your cousins as well.”

Frodo nodded, sniffing. “But Orik and Dorik are my age—”

“Equivalently, yes. Fami is nearly an adult and should know better. But Sira, Sira is only sixteen years old, Frodo. Do you know how old that is in Hobbit years?”

“Erm…”

“Seven, Frodo. She would be seven if she were a Hobbit.”

Frodo bowed his head. “I’m sorry, Uncle,” he said with more remorse than before, voice cracking as he began to cry. “Can we please get it over with?”

“Over with? I’m not going to spank you.”

Frodo blanched.

~Forty Years Later~

“I couldn’t sit right for a couple days,” Frodo laughed. The Men laughed, wincing.

“Speak for yourself,” Orik said, sharpening his axe. “Couple days? Bah! Dorik and I couldn’t sit _period_ for a week.”

Dorik swung his hammer, nearly hitting Legolas, who jumped out of the way and landed on top of it. “And Dori wouldn’t let Sira out of sight for a _year_ before he trusted any of us with her till then. You in particular, Frodo.”

Frodo shrugged. “He forgave me eventually. They all did. Now look, we laugh at it and remember how stupid we used to be.”

“Speak for yourself. Most of us went along in the end because Fami was there.”

“Valid point,” Frodo said, “But it was my idea. Not one of you needed to come with me.”

“So,” Boromir said, “Anything else we should know about the adventures of Frodo Baggins?”

Frodo glanced at the Men. “Well…”

“Ooh! I have one,” Legolas said, still situated on Dorik’s hammer. “A couple years _after_ that…”


End file.
